My Sister is an IRONMAN!

Guest Post from my sister Jen.  I think you will enjoy this.  Thanks J! :)
 
What is it like to have an IRONMAN as your sister?  The short answer; It’s amazing, it’s inspiring, it makes me very proud, and it makes me smile whenever I think of my #IronSister.  I think it’s a really special title that she gets to hold, one that very few people do.  The long answer...

For me, Chris was an ironman long before she ever earned the official title of IRONMAN.  I’ve seen her battle before, a battle she didn’t choose and a battle none of us wanted her to have.  Having been with her in a battle for her life, literally, not only makes you appreciate the warrior she is, but it makes you appreciate her more than you ever imagined before.  You become very protective of her and only want her to live in a body that is nice to her; a body that doesn’t cause her pain.  To think about her pushing this body to, what seems to me, punishing extremes, a body with pain, was really hard for me to embrace. Being totally honest, it was not something I wanted to see.  I wasn’t an early supporter for her; I didn’t discourage, but I surely wasn’t encouraging.

As she progressed through this new passion, I watched.  I watched EVERYTHING, but mostly I watched her health.  I knew what ‘sick Chris’ looked like, and as time went on, not only did ‘sick Chris’ not appear, but Chris, the healthiest and happiest Chris I’ve ever seen, did.  How was it possible that this extreme sport was making my sister better?  How does this happen when you have half a gut inside this little body?  How does she get the nutrition she needs?  How does she eat enough to sustain any body mass?  How does she get enough energy to perform?  How?  I didn’t know, but, SHE DID!!!  She was happy and healthy and getting STRONGER every day.

As I watched, my attitude changed.  I did a complete 180 on this sport for her and defended this when people questioned it.  I started asking about the workouts she was doing and I enjoyed hearing about it.   I listened to what she was doing and how much effort she was putting into not only her training but into her nutrition.  She probably spent as much time thinking, talking, reading, researching, cooking, experimenting and eating as she did on physical training. My fears about this nourishment began to diminish and I started really enjoying her journey to IRONMAN #2.

IRONMAN #2 is really where I expected this BLOG to begin, with my experience in Couer d’Alene with her.  But, I couldn’t start there, not without this back story.  And, here, I’m smiling again as I’m about to tell THAT story. 

Our day started at 3:15AM; we went to bed around 8:30-9PM the night before.  I didn’t sleep more than a few winks.  I was excited for her.  Yes, EXCITED.  I wondered if she was sleeping.  I fought the urge to use the bathroom most of the night for fear of disturbing her sleep, but something got MY GUT fired up and I had to get in there.  It was 2AM. I knew if I was in the bathroom, I may have felt ‘excited’ but this physical response was nerves and the feeling of stress.  I had set my alarm on the iPAD, but it didn’t go off.  Later, as we drove to the start, I joke with C&P about how this is an iPad feature flaw.  If the volume is off but an alarm is set, shouldn’t the alarm override the volume setting?   I digress.

I heard someone get up and lights come on.  I figured Chris couldn’t sleep and was up. I looked at the clock and its 3:40!! GET UP!! 

I went to the kitchen, she was at the counter looking like it was any ol’ day. She had already had her breakfast and seemed to be doing nothing.  OK.  She WAS doing nothing.  She said “good morning”, I said, “good morning” and it make me giggle.  She smiled and said, “What’s so funny?”  I said, “I don’t know” (and I didn’t!).  Pat comes walking out a few minutes later and same thing, a cheerful “Good morning Ginny!”, “Good morning, Pat” and again, giggled.  Chris laughed, Pat smiled; I had no idea why I was giggling, just shook my head and waited for instruction; I was the chauffeur for the morning.

There was no chaos, no running around, nothing.  Calm, relaxed. When it was time to go, we got up, walked out the door, and were off.  Everything had been meticulously planned, and there was nothing to do, but ‘show up’.  We arrived at the park, and there seemed to be no one there.  She likely was one of the first to arrive.  No cars, only a few people moving about; Pat one of them as he checked it all out; Chris was sitting in the back seat humming the theme song from Rocky (I smiled and maybe even giggled).  Pat confirmed that they had people starting to line up, so after a few snapshots in the dark park, she and Pat walked off to get her numbered and I took the car back to the house. 

ROCKY theme song being hummed

WHAT A DIFFERENCE 15 minutes makes!!  As I walked/jogged (yes, really, I was excited for her) back to the park, it was still dark but the traffic was crazy.  1900 athletes were converging on Lake CDA.  It got busy fast!!   Now, to find Pat, how I did, I don’t know.  We wandered around thinking about where we wanted to watch, and then wandered back over to the bikes, which was good ‘instinct’ by Pat.  Once there, Chris came hustling over to the fence.  She realized she didn’t have enough electrolytes on her bike and was redoing her math as Pat was pulling a baggie from his pack.  They calculated the total, and off she went, totally focused, with the needed supplies.  A gal next to me was watching and listening to all this.  As Chris turned to go, Pat chirped out his typically sweet encouragement to her and this gal smiled and put her hand up to her heart.  Touched.  These two are a great team and it touched me too (tears welled in my eyes, not the last time during this day).  I figure this is the last I will see of Chris until she is out of the water from her swim.  To me, and this is an inside joke, the swim appears to be a bunch of black jelly beans, they all look the same and it’s impossible to find my sister!

Pat and I found our way to this great area of cemented steps that lead into Lake CDA; it feels like we’ve accomplished SO much already in this day.  It’s STILL dark as night with a slight breeze.  Pat was in shorts, I had opted for a little more coverage that morning.  He observed that his clothing choice was not optimal and that we might get a little chilled sitting here for a few hours.  As he’s making these observations, I walked down all the steps and put my hand in the water.  This lake is my favorite and I wanted to touch it.  When I did, the temperature was perfect and I smiled!!  My sister was not going to freeze; this would feel good.  I took my spot next to Pat and soon Chris' friend Jody joined us.  Jody’s husband was also doing this event but Jody trains with Chris and they’ve become good friends, and I can see why.  She’s really a nice, happy, positive person.  Equipped with great binocs, Pat and I traded off searching the beach for Chris.  Pat finally spots her in the water saying, “I know her warm up and that’s her bobbing with her hands over her head”.  Just seeing her makes us feel good. 

Wishing I had coffee and a blanket, Pat wished he had pants :)

Where is Chris?

As the swim began, we knew we wouldn’t have much luck spotting her going into the water, but we watched, and we watched, and we watched.  Nearing an hour in the water, I really started looking at strokes of the women as they went by. Being able to watch them swim by, instead of towards us, made it easier to evaluate strokes.  I asked Pat what color strap her goggles had.  From that, I could eliminate anyone with a dark strap and focused on the rest.  When I’d see someone that had a stroke like Chris’, I would watch, trying to decide, ‘Is that her?’   Pat was watching through binocs, and then all of a sudden I think I see her!! I tap Pat on the leg and say, “Chris, by ….” (I don’t remember the marker I gave him), but he looked and confirmed!!  We were so excited!!!!  WE SEE HER!!!!    I flipped on my phone and started one of my LIVE FACEBOOK videos (that was so much fun, but boy I needed WAY MORE battery power).  We watched her get out and loop back around for her second lap.   So excited, so happy!!!  Not knowing when she actually got in the water, we weren’t sure of her time, but we were guessing we’d see her aging near the top of the next hour.  And we did!!!   We didn’t know at this point what her time was, because we didn’t know her entrance time, but she was out, and that made me, the former lifeguard, happy.  I watched all the guards out on the water during this time and I was impressed.  Never once did I see one goofing off, or looking off to the mountains or the shores. They were totally focused on the swimmers and that was a great relief to me.

Pat and I zipped over to her bike position and within a minute or two she was there with the biggest smile and the words, “1:36!!!!!  1:36!!!!”  She couldn’t believe it!!  As she high fived us, and turned to run down the bike alley, she looked back, “Am I in the right row?”, “YES!!” Pat yelled, and I laughed. God love them.  She grabbed her bike and headed out to the course.  Pat had already scouted this entire course and knew exactly where we would go.  We took off at a jog and got situated at the first turn of her bike course.  She flew by, smiling, and around the corner she went.  Pat laughed and said she took that corner FAST!!!!  We were all very happy. 

She had two big bike laps to do and we were hoping the temps didn’t climb fast; I wasn’t even thinking about wind.  I had heard that these hills could be a beast and I was simply praying it all went well.  As she came back from her first lap, her times averaged out to a pace that we expected; about 1.5 hours to get ‘up’ the hills and 1 hour to get down.  1 lap down, another to go.  As we set up to see her come by, her time wasn’t registering at the top of the hill.  Perhaps the chip wasn’t working, but Jody’s husbands wasn’t registering either.  I noticed the wind in the trees and this is when my happiness started to fade and the worry started to creep in.  We waited, and waited, and finally her chip registered.  It told us she had a wicked ride to the top and just prayed she didn’t have a headwind on the way back.  We waited and waited and waited.  As I watched bikers come by, some smiled, but most went from the ‘battle ready’ athletes I saw that morning to ‘war torn’.  I couldn’t wait to see my sister and I was nervous.  Finally Pat spotted her.  She came by with a smile, a different smile, but a smile.  I was happy she was done with this and I wondered now about this hot day and her marathon.

Pat and I again didn’t go to the transition area, we headed right to the beginning of her run.  We waited a few minutes and here she came.  She saw us and all I could understand was “hills” and “killed”.  I was taking some video but I put it down and deleted it.  My sister was distressed and I got very concerned at this point knowing what she had ahead of her.  For this brief moment we got to see her, I actually just let Pat talk to her, encourage her and I think I actually walked away before she did.  It was hard for me to see her like this.  Later when I told Pat and Chris that I had deleted the video I’d taken here, they both said it would’ve been ok, but at that moment, I saw my sister in pain and “I” couldn’t handle it, and I didn’t want the memory of it. 

I had no idea how the rest of this journey would go.  I knew my sister would finish this race, that was NEVER a question in my mind.  I just didn’t know how “I” would handle the suffering I just saw.  I got really quiet and stayed really quiet for the next 5 hours; I was totally preoccupied and all I could do was math in my head, ‘where is Chris’, ‘how fast is she going’, ‘how far is left’.  I did that over and over and over and over and …. Well, you get it.

The next time we saw her was before the short loop in the park and right after the loop.  She was walking really well, but she wasn’t running.  She trained for this and was physically ready to run, but she wasn’t running.  Pat kept his cool, he and she talked; I don’t think I listened.  I think I actually walked away, the first time we saw her, thinking that I didn’t need to confuse the situation, she and Pat would figure it out.  And they did.  He found out that Chris' transition was not perfect from bike to run and she forgot her food.  I did the math, she had been out here for 8 miles or more with no food.  This did nothing to alleviate my worries.  The food at the stations doesn’t work for her; we couldn’t get to her transition bag and the only thing that could work was cookies, which we didn’t have!!!  I was off to find cookies!

It was good to have a job, and having to hike/jog to find them was a good way to get rid of some nervous energy.  I called Mike to give him an address of a house I passed, asking him to google map the nearest place I could get cookies.  He just started that when I saw a cop. I flagged him down to ask for cookie directions and he gave me a perfect solution; a bakery and a shortcut to it!  In his words, ‘cut through that grass over there on that hill!’  Thank you men in blue!!!! 

I get back to Pat and we decide to walk further down the run course to hopefully get some ‘food’ to Chris sooner than later.  The next time I see her, she was roughly half way done.  She came around the corner, I was seated on the sidewalk with my back against a fence.  I had been watching hundreds of athletes walking by, some running, most walking.  They looked like zombies.  It was not at all what I expected to see and this was very hard to watch.   But when I see my sister, she was running!!!

She stopped as I popped up and she smiled and said, “Oh Hi!!” (hah! I thought she stopped because she saw me, no, she was working her ‘plan’.).  She was going strong and in a very strong voice said, “You won’t believe what is working for me!!! CHICKEN BROTH!!!!”.   I noticed she had part of an oreo in her hand (at least I think it was).  At this point, Pat joined us, handed her some cookies and stepped back again letting her and I walk together (FAST – even after all that swimming and biking and running, she still can out walk me!!!  What the heck!).  She says, “I’m doing 2 and 2s POST IT!!!”  and then, she realized she needed more electrolytes and we waved Pat up again.  He refueled her and she was off. 

I walked to the curb and I don’t know what spawned this, but standing between Pat and Kraig, I lost it.  I started crying.  I was not crying because I was worried about her, I was crying because I HAD BEEN SO worried about her, and I finally saw that she was winning this battle; another battle I wanted and needed her to win.  I was relieved and now just couldn’t wait for her to be done.  Pat said to me that her last words to him before he left her side was, “I’ll see you at the finish”. He smiled!  I smiled, finally, even with tears in my eyes and on my face.

I'll see you at the finish!

Pat and I made our way back to the finish where I felt like we stood for an eternity.  When Chris finally came down the ramp, she didn’t see or hear us!!!  It was loud, and the runners are running right towards this insanely bright light.  We followed her and saw her get her IRONMAN picture taken and finally got to her.  I snapped one of the best pictures of my life at this point when she was saying things, I  couldn’t understand a word of it between her excitement, her exhaustion, the crowd noise, the announcer and the music … but I captured the best victory smile and celebration hug between her and Pat.  It was the greatest moment of the day; possibly the greatest moment of this year. 

As we made our way back to the house, and went about closing down this day, we were watching comments on facebook. I still laugh remembering this time; people would comment about how good her ‘post workout’ meal would be (she’s been eating all day), or how good the shower would feel (blisters and raw skin don’t like showers – yelps in the background), and other things that seems like normally logical comments just were really … funny … in that moment seeing what REALLY happens.  I still laugh thinking about it.  I have no idea what ‘state’ my sister was really in.  I think she was feeling just about every emotion and euphoria and pain all at the same time, but to look at her, she was happy and didn’t look like what I expected (she looked GOOD)!  One minute she’d let out a yelp and the next minute she looks perfectly fine, and was, but wasn’t.  You have to see it, experience it, to get it … and for me … it’s a fun time to remember.

I never questioned her ability to do this, to finish it, I knew she would.  When I say ability, I don’t just mean physical.  The experience is so much more than just physical.  While that is a large part of it, I saw that desire, grit, determination were just as big.  The mental toughness exhibited that day blew my mind.  And since I know if you’ve read to this point, you are wondering about ME and my recovery (haha). I, personally, will be better prepared, mentally, for her next IRONMAN. :)  I don’t know that it will be any easier to watch, but, I, at the very least, will have a realistic expectation of this, and, I will have …. COOKIES!!!  My sister is awesome.  I’ve said it before, I say it now, and, I’ll say it many more times in my life.   Chris, you truly inspire me, and I can’t stop smiling.